


Erase the Heart Entire

by Inkyrius



Category: Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: Gen, Post-Canon, communication!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-04
Updated: 2017-06-04
Packaged: 2018-11-04 13:45:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10992147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inkyrius/pseuds/Inkyrius
Summary: After Grima is defeated, Say'ri and Yen'fay have a long overdue discussion





	Erase the Heart Entire

**Author's Note:**

  * For [straightforwardly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/straightforwardly/gifts).



At last, it was over. Grima had been sealed by the Exalt’s hand, and the last of his minions had been defeated. Against the odds, good had triumphed, and everyone had made it out alive. The Shepherds felt perfectly justified in their celebration. 

Yen’fay allowed himself to be drawn into the festivities for a short while, mostly in deference to his friendship with the tactician, but, as the night wore on, the party only got wilder, until it was time for him to make his escape. He did not bother saying any goodbyes. He would miss these people, but there was no sense in their mourning a man long dead. This would be the best way for everyone.

He had thought his departure had been discreet, but, when he got back to the tent he had been assigned, he found the Say’ri of this world waiting for him. He grimaced. Of all the people who could have noticed his plans, she was perhaps the most inauspicious.

Say’ri smiled when she saw him. There was little warmth behind it. “Hello, Yen’fay.”

“What are you doing here?” he asked. Perhaps he could convince her to leave without causing a commotion?

"I know that you do not consider yourself my brother, but you are not far enough removed to prevent me from reading you," Say'ri said. "It was clear that you were planning to leave while everyone was distracted. I could not permit that, not when we have so much to discuss."

"We have nothing to discuss." Yen'fay closed his eyes. "As you say, I am not your brother. I had a sister very like you, once, but I failed to protect her. I do not deserve a second chance."

Say'ri scoffed. "And I failed to trust my brother, and he died for it. Do not think me some naive innocent. I am no more deserving than you."

"It is hardly the same." Yen'fay found himself all but shuffling his feet. It was absurd. He had thought himself all but incapable of emotion, yet but a minute in this alternate Say'ri's presence rendered him little more than a scolded child.

"Is it not?" Say'ri seemed to notice his turmoil, and relented. "Perhaps this is a debate for another time? It is no matter. If you are so determined to insist that my brother is dead, allow me to tell you about him."

She made no attempt at subtlety. It was clear that she had an ulterior motive behind this proposition. And yet Yen'fay found himself unable to her deny even this small request. There should no place in him for such softness, such willing self-delusion. "If you must," he grumbled. "But pray, make haste."

Say'ri continued as if he had not spoken. "My brother was seen by many as serious and resolute, and, indeed, he often was, but he was also kind and loving, and always supportive of me.

"I remember once, when I was young and even more foolish, I was tired of being talked down to. I declared to my brother my intentions of sneaking out of the castle to visit the Voice of Naga for myself. I was convinced that I was going to somehow save her, becoming a hero of renown and earning the respect of all.

"It was exactly the sort of thoughtless plan a spoiled child would devise. But, rather than laugh, my brother simply nodded seriously and asked how I intended to get to the Voice. He kept asking questions until I realized my folly for myself. When I reluctantly gave up the plan, he smiled and told me he was glad, because he would have missed me."

"I remember that," Yen'fay said without thinking. "Even then, you were so determined. I could almost believe that you would protect a divine being."

So caught up in memories, it took a moment for Yen'fay to realize what he had said. When he did, he froze, but it was too late to take his words back. Say'ri was looking at him with a self-satisfied smile.

"Do you see?" she asked. "You can protest our relation as much as you like, but the fact of it remains. I have already lost one brother to my own idiocy. Pray, do not deprive me of a chance to make amends with another."

"I do not know that having me is better than having no brother at all," Yen'fay said. "I am no longer a person, merely an arm to wield a blade. I cannot be the brother you have lost."

Say'ri shook her head. "You say you are not a person, yet not an hour ago you were attending a party with your friends." Yen'fay opened his mouth to object, but Say'ri continued without giving him a chance. "You can make your excuses, that you were not there to enjoy yourself or that you left while it was still going, and perhaps they are even true, but the fact that you were there at all means that you feel some connection to these people, despite your claims to the contrary. It is my hope that someday, you will come to feel a similar connection to me.”

Yen’fay clenched and unclenched his hands. He almost wished he had his sword with him, just for something he understood. “I do not know that I can,” he confessed. He felt raw and awkward exposing this much of his inner turmoil, but it seemed the only way to convince Say’ri to let him be. She deserved to know the truth. “I fear the death of my sister has broken me entirely. Though I consider the tactician my friend, I cannot bring myself to approach any of the others. And even my relationship with Robin is but a shadow of what I could have felt in the past. I do not know that I could maintain the intensity of affection that I felt for my sister. I fear that if I tried, I would only hurt you once again.”

He found that his gaze had drifted to the ground as he spoke. He forced himself to look Say’ri in the eye. Perhaps seeing her disdain for him would be enough to solidify his decision to leave this world.

And yet, Say’ri smiled at him. “Even now, you put my feelings before your own. I have faith in you, Yen’fay. Neither of us can ever have what we once had, and I would not ask you to force such a thing. I merely ask that you allow us to build something new. If not for yourself, do it for my own brother, who never got such a chance to explain himself.”

The pain and sorrow that flashed across Say’ri’s face at those words made Yen’fay’s heart ache. He knew he could not ever remedy that pain, but in that moment he would do anything to simply relieve it.

He sighed, slightly more dramatically than he generally would. “You always did know how best to manipulate me,” he said.

He was well aware that he was only setting her up for further pain. He had no place in this world, whether Say’ri would admit it or not. But the way her face lit up at his words, even as she fought to hide her elation, was almost enough to convince him that it was the right decision.

Say’ri fought for a casual tone. “Or perhaps you are simply getting soft.” She sat down on his bedroll, and Yen’fay had to resist the urge to sigh again. “Now, come. I will not force you back to the festivities, but we have much to catch up on. This seems as good a time as any.”

Yen’fay sat beside her, shoving aside memories of childish sleepovers spent in such a position. He would do as Say’ri asked, and attempt to put aside the past. For the time being, he would allow himself to believe that he had a future.

With Say’ri at his side, he found that doing so was not difficult.


End file.
